Reference

Eccl 7:1-14

Sermon Discussion Questions:

Read Eccl 7:1-14. What questions do you have?
Consider the three steps offered in the "How to Live" section: Seek Wisdom, Be Patient, and Embrace Sadness.
1. How do you cultivate relationships where the wise around you can correct you? Are you a "correctable" person? Consider steps you can take in your small group to move towards this.
2. Read Eccl 7:8 once more. What is the connection between the first half and second half of the verse? Why is patience needed to finish what is before us? Do you find within yourself a "lust for the sensational and immediate"?
3. Why is it foolish to be controlled by a longing for the past? See Eccl 7:10
4. Look at Eccl 7:13-14. How do these verses help us embrace sadness?
Why is the day of death better than the day of birth for the Christian?

Jerry Sittser was driving home with his wife, his mother, and his four children when a drunk driver careened into their lane and hit them head-on at 85 mph. Sittser’s wife, mother, and four-year-old daughter died, leaving him alone to suffer, grieve, and care for his three traumatized children alone. In his book, A Grace Disguised, describes the painful scene of the accident, pulling his children, his wife, and his mother out of the car: “I remember those first moments after the accident as if everything was happening in slow motion…I remember taking pulses, doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, trying to save the dying and calm the living. I remember the feeling of panic that struck my soul as I watched [my wife], my mother, and [my daughter] all die before my eyes…By some strange twist of fate or mysterious manifestation of providence I had been suddenly thrust into circumstances I had not chosen and could never have imagined…I ransacked my mind for options that would provide a way out of the pain I knew intuitively loomed ahead for me and my family. In that brief window of time I exhausted all possibilities except one. I realized that I would have to suffer and adjust; I could not avoid it or escape it. There was no way out but ahead, into the abyss.”

Sittser’s book is a moving meditation on a Christian wrestling with grief, culled from the depths of one of the most painful experiences one could imagine. Yet, eight years after the book was first published, a new edition was printed with an updated foreword from the author. He writes: “The rawness and utter bewilderment I felt when writing the book have [now] given way to contentment and deep gratitude…As strange as it might sound, I wish that every man could experience what I have, though without the acute suffering.”

Why would he want that? You’ll have to read his book in its entirety, but in short: there is a sickness of the soul that can only be healed through suffering.

1 A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death than the day of birth. 2 It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad. 4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. 5 It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools. 6 For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fools; this also is vanity. 7 Surely oppression drives the wise into madness, and a bribe corrupts the heart. 8 Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. 9 Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. 10 Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this. 11 Wisdom is good with an inheritance, an advantage to those who see the sun. 12 For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it. 13 Consider the work of God: who can make straight what he has made crooked?

14 In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.

Eccl 7:1-14

This section is going to show us how living in light of death, living with the aim of preparing for death, actually will make us wise. And not only that, it will actually make life itself more enjoyable. So, we could think of this section being divided into two parts: How to Live, How to Die

How to Live

Seek Wisdom (vs. 5-7, 11-12)

It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools. 6 For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fools; this also is vanity. 7 Surely oppression drives the wise into madness, and a bribe corrupts the heart.

Eccl 7:5-7

If you want to live well, you need to be wise. But wisdom comes at a high price. Trade in your high-estimation of yourself and touchy ego, to purchase the rebukes of the wise. The fool in the book of Proverbs and this section is only here for the good times—to party, to laugh, to ignore the pain of life—and being rebuked is not fun. Have you been rebuked before? It is not very pleasant. Hearing a song, on the other hand? That is much nicer. But the songs and laughter of a fool are as permanent and lasting as twigs tossed into a fire. Verse seven is difficult to understand. It could be saying that as a wise person observes the oppression in the world (one example being bribery), it makes him go figuratively insane with moral outrage. In that reading, the Preacher could be commending a life of wisdom in a corrupt world, even if it means you are constantly incensed against the immorality around you—in a world of moral insanity, the sane person looks crazy to everyone else; far better to be that kind of crazy, the Preacher says.

Another alternative, however, is to read it as a warning to the wise. Seek wisdom, but also be on guard: a wise person can become a fool (a madman) as soon as he participates in corruption and bribery. In that reading, the wise man has traded in his hard-earned wisdom for the crackling fire of foolishness.

Either way, the Preacher is commending a life of consistent wisdom and virtue. He underlines this importance again in verses 11-12

Wisdom is good with an inheritance, an advantage to those who see the sun. 12 For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.

Eccl 7:11-12

An inheritance given to a fool can ruin his life, but an inheritance given to a wise man is a great advantage. Why? Because money is like nuclear energy. It can be used to power a city, or it can be used to destroy a city. Wisdom is what makes the difference. Thus, in verse 12, Solomon encourages us to consider the value of wisdom: it is like the protection money gives, but even better, because it is the required ground needed for money to stand on and be used well. Wisdom will save your life. Thus, Solomon in Proverbs exhorts us:

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, 14 for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. 15 She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. 16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. 18 She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her; those who hold her fast are called blessed.

Prov 3:13-18

What fool would not devote themselves to something that is packed with so many blessings? The fool who is unwilling to listen to correction. Which, of course, invites us to consider: am I willing to listen to correction? Of course, all of us want to say, Yes, I know I’m wrong. But, seriously consider: when was the last time someone actually corrected you in something that mattered? When was the last time someone told you something that was hard to hear?

Friends, that doesn’t happen by accident. You have to cultivate that. You have to invite correction. And when you are corrected, you have to actually listen. Not defend yourself or push back. The Proverbs tell us:

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Prov 27:6

If every time someone tries to correct you, you may be creating an environment around you that is only conducive to the kisses of an enemy, and never permits anyone to be a faithful friend who wounds with love. Even if what you are being corrected on is wrong—be quiet and pray. Ask the Lord if there isn’t some kernel of truth mixed with error. The benefit of creating a culture of healthy correction is worth the dings to your ego at being corrected incorrectly.

One of the ways our family tries to prioritize this is through our small group. In our small group we eat a meal, we discuss the sermon, and then we split up into men and women and pray together, and in this time we get a chance to confess our sin and invite in encouragement and correction from each other. Just this last week, a single man in our group was sharing how, unlike married people, he has no one to really keep him accountable with how he spends his money, and so he just asked the other guys in the group for help in looking through his budget and thinking through his spending to see if he is being wise. That is a posture of wisdom, that is the hard work needed to invite correction.

Be Patient (vs. 8-10)

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. 9 Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. 10 Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.

Eccl 7:8-10

The end is better than the beginning of something because the end is the final result. The end reveals your character. The proud in spirit are happy to boast at the beginning of the venture, they don’t care about integrity or the thankless work behind the scenes that needs to be done, they only care about the ribbon cutting ceremony and the applause. It’s easy to start something, it’s hard to finish. It’s easy to get married, it’s hard to stay married. It’s easy to start a diet, it’s hard to keep a diet. And if we want to be people of integrity who finish what we start, then we need patience. Patience is the superpower of the Christian because we trust that all things are in God’s hands. Everything is needful that He sends, nothing is needed that He withholds. So we patiently wait and trust, while we work. We do not despise the day of little things and small starts and modest incremental improvement. We are not driven by a lust for sensational change and rapid growth!

When Mark Dever first came to Capitol Hill Baptist Church, a dying old church in Washington D.C., a large and thriving congregation where he is still a pastor 30 years later, the church was on its last leg. But as Dever faithfully ministered, the church gradually grew. About ten years in, an older woman who had seen several pastors cycle in and out of the church told Mark: “You know, I’ve seen many pastors come in, start some exciting new program, and there is a large boom of attendance suddenly, but everyone eventually moves on, and so does the pastor. Since you have been here, we don’t have the same surge of new people, only a slow and steady growth, but these people stay, and it seems like you are staying too.” The world may be fascinated with immediate results, but the Christian is willing to do the slow and steady work that only patience can bear.

Do you want to know if you struggle with patience? Then ask yourself: am I easily angered? Anger lodges in the heart of fools, fools are quick in their spirit to become angry. Why? Because they have no patience. They are not like God, who is slow to anger. They are easily frustrated by the flaws of others. So they not only become angry, but anger lodges in their hearts. It resides there and seeps into everything. Pretty soon, your frustration at work carries into your mood at home, and your feeling towards your parents begins to spread into how you talk to your siblings.

Another way to test if you struggle with impatience is to ask yourself: am I constantly comparing today to yesterday? “Why were the former days better than these?” This is foolish talk, Solomon says. Nostalgia is a sweet longing, but it can sour into a bitter resentment when we become impatient and discontent with the lot God has given us today. Our job is not to pine for the past, not is it to fabricate the future; our job is to be faithful and grateful for what God is doing today. Much of politics today preys upon your fears about the future, and your longing for a golden past. Solomon here is arming you with wisdom: don’t be duped. If you were to travel back to the past, you know what you would find? Problems. And a longing for another past, and a fear of another future. Ovid, the Roman poet, who lived right around the time of Christ, wrote: “Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.”

Embrace Sadness (vs. 3-4, 13-14)

*3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad. 4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

Eccl 7:3-4*

Keeping in step with his chipper persona, the Preacher tells us: go to a funeral. Go to “the house of mourning” before you go to the feast. Verse four tells us that the heart of the wise do this, while the heart of the fool only wants to go the house of mirth, only wants to laugh, and party, and feel good. The house of mirth is a tavern, a pub, a party. Those aren’t bad—the Preacher repeatedly commends laughter, food, and drink. Those are good gifts from God! But, the person who only ever wants to chuckle, and never is willing to sit in the quiet and broken places of life, the Preacher says that man is not wise. The “fool” in Proverbs is never quiet (lest he have time to think), usually has a drink in his hand (to numb his mind), and is easily seduced (because a life of sensuality is a good distraction). The fool is here for a good time, and nothing else.

But, the Preacher tells us: “Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.” What does that mean? It means that real joy is found not in distracting yourself from the tragedy of life, but embracing it and finding hope amidst it. Why is this needed to live well? Because life is full of beauty, but it is also full of tragedy. If you cannot embrace the tragedy, you will only do so by turning a blind eye to half of life.

Do you remember Pixar’s 2015 movie Inside Out? The movie follows the emotions living inside of a young girl (Riley) who has recently moved from the rural midwest to a big city on the West Coast and hates it. Joy, her primary emotion, insists on doing everything possible to push Sadness away, but what happens? Joy’s controlling demands for Riley to feel happy all the time wind up leaving her numb and hollow. It is only when she embraces sadness, when she gives herself space to let the sorrow wash over her, that Riley is then able to feel real joy. And we can all relate to that; no one likes feeling sad. Being sad makes other people uncomfortable, it can even feel embarrassing. If we could, we would rather feel happy, and maybe even feel a numbed distraction, than feel sadness.

Shortly after the funeral for Jerry Sittser’s wife, mother, and child, he explains a kind of waking dream he experiences. “I dreamed of a setting sun. I was frantically running west, trying desperately to catch it and remain in its fiery warmth and light. But I was losing the race. The sun was beating me to the horizon and was soon gone. I suddenly found myself in the twilight. Exhausted, I stopped running and glanced with foreboding over my shoulder to the east. I saw a vast darkness closing in on me. I was terrified by that darkness. I wanted to keep running after the sun, though I knew that it was futile…So I lost all hope, collapsed to the ground, and fell into despair.” When Sittser shares the dream with his sister, she reminds him that the quickest way for anyone to reach the sun and the light of day is not to run west, chasing after the setting sun, but to head east, plunging into the darkness until one comes to the sunrise.

He writes, “I discovered in that moment that I had the power to choose the direction my life would head, even if the only choice open to me, at least initially, was either to run from the loss or to face it as best I could. Since I knew that darkness was inevitable and unavoidable, I decided from that point on to walk into the darkness rather than try to outrun it, to let my experience of loss take me on a journey wherever it would lead, and to allow myself to be transformed by my suffering rather than to think I could somehow avoid it.”

How do you do that? How do you turn to embrace the darkness of sorrow?

Consider the work of God: who can make straight what he has made crooked? 14 In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.

Eccl 7:13-14

The answer surprises us. You trust that God has placed the crook in your lot. Consider His work: God makes good days and bad days. And He doesn’t do it in a way that gives you the certainty to know that one shall follow the other. Which means that every moment of suffering is a question of trust: do you trust the God who has sent this?

Friends, as we prepare for our moments of loss, or as we are now walking in them, we have a choice: we can choose to face the darkness that God has ordained for us, or we can try to run from it. We can take Christ by the hand as we walk through the quiet, terrifying places of grief, or we can just numb ourselves with as many distractions and diversions as we can to avoid it.

But the Preacher warns us, it is only through sadness that the heart will ever find joy. There is a delight in the warmth of the sun that you would never have if you didn’t endure the cold of night. Sorrow actually serves to amplify your joy.

“And all the host laughed and wept, and in the midst of their merriment and tears the clear voice of the minstrel rose like silver and gold, and all men were hushed. And he sang to them, now in the elven-tongue, now in the speech of the West, until their hearts, wounded with sweet words, overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness.” (Tolkien, Return of the King)

How to Die

Die Well (vs. 1-2)

The first half of this verse seems clear to us. A “good name” isn’t referring to your name sounding unique or strong. Your “name” is shorthand for your reputation, your character. What good is it, Solomon asks, to have an expensive perfume, if your reputation smells like trash? Integrity, honor, and diligence are worth more than any precious valuable that money can buy.

But the second half of the verse is startling. “The day of death [is better] than the day of birth.” Further, he says that it is better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting, better to find a funeral than a feast. Why?

Because death is the “end of all mankind” and the ESV would be more helpful it translated the end of verse 2 as the NIV and CSB does with “the living should lay it to heart.” Meaning, you ought to consider your own mortality. The psalms teach us that when we keep the brevity of our life at the forefront of our mind, we become wise people. “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom,” (Ps 90:12; 39:14).

Why should you number your days? Because, we all come into the world assuming that life will just go on. The lie of the serpent doesn’t fade easily: You will not surely die (Gen 3:4). And the world around us conspires to tell us that death is something that just happens to other people, not to us, not to our family. When we drive by an awful car accident, we think: they must have been driving recklessly. What are we doing? We are distancing ourselves from the fragility of life. That won’t happen to me. Now, I am a big believer in taking care of yourself. Exercise, eat well, sleep, take care of yourself—plan on trying to make your body as useful and useable for as long as you can. But, no matter how healthy you are, at some point our number will be called. And we have no idea when that will be. We can accept that as a brute fact.

But the Preacher says more than just we will die. He says the day of death is better than the day of birth. How so? How are coffins better than cribs? The Preacher isn’t saying that death should be sought or is preferred over life. Later, he will explicitly tell us that life is valuable (Eccl 9:4-5).

So, in what sense is the day of death better than the day of birth? Well, I can think of two ways.

First, at the day of death, if you are in Christ, we are then delivered from our bondage of sin and this fallen world. The God whom we have loved through the veil, we shall see face to face. We will never sin again, but shall be renewed in the likeness of the God we will then perfectly behold. Paul himself said that he longed for the day of his own death where he would depart this world and be with Christ—death, to Paul, was gain.

Second, the day of birth is the day of potential. As you hold the bundle of joy in your arms, it is the day of “what will she grow up to be like?” None of the difficult decisions or testing of character have yet come. The first step of the journey does not reveal the character of the traveller. But, at the day of death, the journey has been completed, and the character of the life has been revealed. People are not wondering, what will her life be like? But are instead saying, This is what mattered to her, this is what she lived for. The end is better than the beginning because it is the end that reveals what you actually believed in. Did you live a wise life? Was there integrity, humility, patience?

Which must make you stop and consider…what do you want to be known for when your day of death comes? Back in chapter four we considered how living for a legacy will, in the end, disappoint us, because after we are gone people will quickly forget us, maybe even villainize us. But here, the Preacher isn’t asking us to reverse course and live like our names will be remembered forever. Death will simply be a moment of revelation to those around you, a conclusion to your life, and here the Preacher wants you to consider what “your name”, your reputation and character will be. He is telling you to consider that future event to recalibrate how you are living now. What will people say about you at your funeral? What do you want them to say about you? What do you want associated with your name?

You are what you love. What you love most, will give shape and savor to your name. Now, here is the most pressing and personal of questions: do you love what you want to love? Do you want people to remember you as a man or woman who loved Christ above all, who gave yourself generously for other people…or do you want your children and friends to have to overlook reality as they attempt to say something polite; to ignore that you ultimately loved your alone time, your shows, your creature comforts, your job, being right, getting in the last word most.

The day of death is better than the day of birth because the day of death is when all the homework is due, when the work must be turned in, and we receive the grade. It’s easy to brag that you’ll ace the test when you haven’t taken it yet.

And maybe you are here today and you are thinking: I think if I were to die today, no one would say anything but police niceties that ignore the truth. Maybe you’ve taken advantage of other people; maybe you have squandered your best years with a life of benign but pointless distractions—what was dad like? Well, he loved his TV shows…; maybe you’ve done damage to relationships that you don’t think will ever be repaired.

Is there hope for you?

6 “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; 7 let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. 8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isa 55:6-9

If you are alive today, then you can seek the Lord while he may be found. After you die, you will not have another chance—now is the day of salvation, now is the time when He is near. And if you have ruined your life, if your trashed your name…if “wicked” and “unrighteous” define you…then take heart! Now, you can return to the Lord, wretches, and porn addicts, and drunkards, and criminals, and narcissists, and phony Christians, and angry moms, and disconnected dads…if you will turn to the Lord and forsake your sin, then God will sweep you up with the gentle swell of compassion and mercy. He will abundantly pardon. He will forgive the sins that you can’t forgive yourself for. That’s why God tells us “my ways are not your ways.” You may hate yourself for what you have done. But if are willing to forsake your sin and come to the Lord? He will not hate you, He will love you, He will cleanse you, He will heal you, He will restore you.

We do not know the kind of life the thief on the cross lived, but he did enough to warrant the most gruesome and shameful of punishments. No one was giving a eulogy for him that praised his virtue and good deeds. Most people who knew him probably disowned him. And he, while gasping in pain next to Christ, admitted that he deserved it (Luke 23:41). And with faith so small you’d barely notice it—’Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom’—this wicked, unrighteous man received the overflowing compassion and abundant pardon from God. “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43).

Friend, seek the Lord while He may be found! If you haven’t yet trusted in Christ, then do so today, before it is too late! If you will give yourself to the Lord Jesus and look to Him to forgive you, then regardless of what people may say of you when you are gone, regardless of how much you have wasted your life, the God whose grace always outpaces our own, will welcome you with open arms today.